Just the other day I was at the mall and all of the stores were out of Turbo Man, thankfully there were plenty of Turbo Man's faithful sidekick, Booster. Jingle All the Way is the story of a terrible Dad that is trying to do one thing right in his life and get his son the toy that he so desperately wants. Although Sinbad isn't up to par with his performance from Houseguest, Phil Hartman is so it's okay. Arnold really should've done some more comedy before getting into politics, cause this was a gem. Little Anikan Skywalker also puts forth a quality performance (all I need to see is his enjoyment of Turbo Man cereal). Bomb (movie game) all-star EJ De La Pena is great as Anikan's best friend and steals the show with "Dad, why do you smell like barf?"
1. Home Alone 2- So maybe I'm out of the loop on this one, but I thought it was common knowledge that Home Alone 2 was better than Home Alone. I've been told recently that it isn't true that everyone in the world likes 2 better than 1. Hmm, I put a poll on the right to see what other people think (although it might end with three total votes). I'm pretty sure it's similar to the Mighty Ducks situation in which D2 is definitely better than 1. Both Home Alone and Mighty Ducks are good but aren't nearly as good as the sequels. TMNT is a completely different story. Although I enjoy Secret of the Ooze more than the original TMNT, I can definitely see how some would like the first better. With Home Alone I can't see how you could like 1 more than 2. Kevin is better, Marv is better, the auxiliary characters are better (Rob Schneider, Tim Curry), the location is better (New York at Christmas time, c'mon). As I am writing this, I have realized that the Bird Lady might be the sole reason for someone liking 1 better than 2. If this is the case for you, I can respect that. She is the worst. To end I will leave you with this. "Merry Christmas Harry." "Happy Hannakah Marv." Classic.
Like I said, classic. From “Look what you did ya little jerk” a la Uncle Frank to “Buzz, your girlfriend, woof” courtesy Kevin McCallister himself, Home Alone is filled with lines galore. I don’t know how many times Kevin’s classic “For the kids” has been used at my house. Some might downgrade this movie because it’s just a couple of guys getting hit by stupid gags, but it really is much more than that. Any and every one of Marv’s reactions to a trick is comedy gold. The great Juice Box has stated in my presence that “Marv might be the greatest movie character of all time.” His words not mine.
3. Elf- I have said it before and I’ll say it again, Buddy the Elf may be my favorite Will Ferrell character. His innocence and ignorance provide for a beautiful combination. After Buddy finds out that he is actually a human amongst elves at the North Pole, he heads for New York to find his real father. Why does he want to find his father? So they can “make ginger bread houses and maybe even hold hands.” Although his dad, played by Jimmy Caan, thinks Buddy is insane, he takes him into his home for the duration of the movie. Buddy screws many things up in his dad’s life by making spaghetti with maple syrup for breakfast and cramming eleven cookies into the vcr. Of course Buddy ends up changing his dad from a jerk into a nice guy who believes in Santa by the end.
6. Ernest Saves Christmas- This is my favorite Ernest movie (Goes to Jail and Goes to Camp are close second and third). Ernest works as a cab driver in Orlando where he picks up Santa. Santa is there to pass along his duties to some dude who has his own childrens' tv show. Santa runs into a problem convincing the nice guy to take the gig, but eventually it happens. Ernest is there along the way to screw many things up. There are many less “Ya know what I mean?s” than in Goes to Camp, but Ernest’s version of 'Oh Christmas Tree' is unbelievable.
5. Santa Clause 2- This second Santa Clause is even better than the first. Coming out eight years after the original, Tim Allen has been doing a great job as Santa but finds out he needs to have a wife, due to the ‘Mrs. Clause.’ The Tool Man’s son’s principal is a nice lady that he finds attractive and decides this is the woman to become Mrs. Claus. The future Mrs. Claus happens to be Dr. Juliet Burke, so now we know what she was doing before ending up Lost on an island (making toys at the North Pole). What makes it better than the original is what I call the toy story 2 factor. When Santa has to leave to find a wife he puts a fake Santa toy in charge of the workshop. The fake Santa is ridiculously hilarious and propels this movie into the top 5.
8. Scrooged- Here we have a modernization of the Christmas Carol story. Bill Murray is a rich jerk in a television programming executive position. When he gets the job to make a live broadcast of A Christmas Carol, his life begins to reflect the story. He is visited by the ghosts and all of the normal plot lines from the original story are involved. The bonus is that Murray is hilarious and much better than any Scrooge before or after him. This Christmas I’m giving all of my loved ones either a vhs home video recorder or a bath towel.
One of the best parts about the month of December leading up to Christmas is watching Christmas movies. I plan on watching most of these movies before December 25th. I'll admit that some of the top 5 will probably be watch on numerous occasions. My Top 15 Christmas movies are all movies that deal with the holiday season directly, so films like The Family Man, Love Actually and Trapped in Paradise were not considered.
14. The Muppet Christmas Carol- The Henson version of A Christmas Carol is the same old story of Ebenezer Scrooge. The great Michael Caine plays Scrooge, while all of the muppets fill in with the other regular roles. Kermit is the obvious Bob Crachit and Gonzo narrates the movie as Charles Dickens himself.
13. Christmas Do-Over- This is another made for tv classic with Jay Mohr in the lead. It is the Christmas version of Groundhog Day, as Jay relives Christmas over and over again. There are a lot of the same effects as in the Bill Murray film, but obviously much worse. As in a lot of movies, the fact that this is poorly written and acted makes it a very fun watch for me.
12. It’s a Wonderful Life- This 1946 film will be in most people’s top five Christmas movies lists, but it doesn’t make the grade for me. Don’t get me wrong...it is a quality film, but if not for Jimmy Stewart’s fantastic voice, it might not make my top fifteen.
